Standard (EADGBE)
You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid and... Chopper and Nixon.
But do you recall,
The least famous reindeer of all?
This song's for you.
This song's for you.
This is the tale of a reindeer that nobody knows,
Shoved down the back and largely ignored on account of a nasal disfigurement.
Not unlike Rudolph in that sense,
The hallmarks are almost the same.
Instead of a red shiny nose that brought Rudolph his fame...
Fabian had just... a cavity.
No nose at all,
Just a big empty space,
In the middle of his face.
Just a couple of chambers
What are you looking at?
D'ya want a piece of this?
This song's for you.
This song's for you.
Abnormal snouts were surprisingly common in reindeer.
Rudolph and Fabian both fell victim,
To the elves and their cost-cutting measures.
In keeping their overheads down,
The elves fed the reindeer on reindeer.
And on top of that, the poor reindeer were also in-bred.
So Fabian had just... a cavity.
His hooter was lacking.
Bugger all schnozz!
All this because,
His dad was also his sister.
Who he then ate.
This chicken tastes funny. Can I have some of yours?
This song's for you.
Tragic but true.
Disliked by his peers,
This disfigured deer was alone.
He watched from afar,
As Rudolph the star,
Would lead all the others back home.
But before you get too sympathetic,
There's another thing you should know.
Sure, his nose was upsetting,
But reindeer are not quite that shallow.
'Cause Fabian was... a tosser!
Not nice at all!
An arrogant fool!
A self-serving tool!
An absolute face-hole.
Ahhhhhhh...
No-one likes you!
Surgery won't fix the vortex,
That is your black heart!