Standard (EADGBE)

 The -> on "journal-oust" is very rough and needs improvement.

 I think the with the decending root sounds right, but I'm not sure.

Transcribing piano tunes on guitar is hard :(

Song For Phil Daoust

by Tim Minchin

This is a song for Phil Daoust:

 occasional Guardian Newspaper journal-oust.

I never ever ever mentioned your name,

 or the review that you wrote, when I was new to this game.

But now the time has come,

 I think I've dealt with my feelings at last.

 I really wanna forgive ya Phil,

 yeah I wanna put the past in the past-a

 Oh and as this is such a big tour,

 I thought I outta take the opportunity.

 'Cause there's a pretty good chance somebody out there will know you,

Maybe they would pass on a message for me.

Just wanna say, Phil Daoust, occasional Guardian Newspaper journal-oust,

 That it's been three years since you wrote it,

 and time is very healing.

 But I still wanna cut big chunks of flesh out of your stupid face

 and make your children watch while I force you to eat them.

Yeah I wanna make your children watch you eat your own face-meat.

This is my Phil Doust Song,

Everybody sing along,

La la la la la la la,

 I hope one of your family' members dies.

 Phil, Ding Dang Dong.

I've written you this special song,

to help you get the attention -

 you obviously, desperately lack.

And I know that you're a smart man,

and with such a fine mind, I guess it has to be hard-

To resist throwing narcissistic, intellectual tantrums in the supermarket isles of

your self-regard.

Just wanna say, Phil Daoust, I know it must be really hard to be a journal-oust.

While a deadlines always looming, and the pressure to be entertaining.

So maybe you should quit and get a job that you'd be better at - like killing

yourself, you fucking cunt.

This is my Phil Doust Song,

Everybody sing along,

Tra la la la la la la,

I hope something you love catches on fire.

Phil, Ding Dang Dong.

I've written you this special song,

to show how far I've come along -

in my efforts to be more mature in the face of negative feedback.

You fucking poo-face.