Standard (EADGBE)

Wossy, in two weeks you’ll be gone

 This is my last opportunity to sing you a song

 So I wanna ask a favour before

 You get on with your life

Jonathan, I wanna make love to you

Wossy I just wanna make sweet love to you

Just once, I wanna make sweet love to you

Sweet love to your wife

 There’s just something about her

That drives me insane

 She’s got that cute sense of humour

And a brilliant brain

 But if I’m totally honest

My feelings for Jane

 Are mostly sexual

 Don’t wanna put you and her

In an awkward position

 But I know I’d regret it

If I didn’t ask the question

 I have talked to my wife

And she gave me permission

 We both have a celebrity shag concession

 And mine is Jane

Hers is Wayne Rooney

Although to be fair

 There’s not much chance of scoring there

Jane, in two weeks time

 Your hubby will be out on the breadline baby

 And surely you’re not gonna wanna be

Spending time with a bum

I know that in a month or three

 He’ll have weaselled his way back onto my TV

 But in the meantime, would you consider me

 For a little fun?

The next 4 verses follow the A - E/A - G/A - D pattern

(Could switch the G/A for a G for a bit of variety on one or 2)

Just one night, Jane, would embiggen me

Just one night, baby, you’ll be diggin’ me

Just a little dabble in temporary bigamy

I just wanna make love, sweet love to you

What I wouldn’t give for just one night with you

Nothing too weird, just a nice night with a

Couple of whips and an underwater camera

I just wanna make a little sweet love to you

Wossy, you can watch if that’d make you feel better

That’d make it even more unforgettable

You can hold the camera and make some bruschetta

In case I get hungry making sweet love to your wife

Stop me, won’t you Wossy, if this is getting weird?

The thought of Jane nuzzling my ginger beard

I’m just doing a song, like we agreed

And it just happens to be a song about how I wanna

Make sweet love to your wife

Oooh

Jonathan I’ve always admired you

 I was nervous about our interview

 But your producers assured me

That all I had to do

 Was be totally honest...with you

Then mess around in D for a while, if you can do what Tim does, congratulations!