Standard (EADGBE)

  . ZAPPA

 MAYBE YOU THOUGHT I WAS THE PACKARD

 GOOSE

 OR THE RONALD MCDONALD OF THE

 NOUVEAU-ABSTRUSE

 WELL FUCK ALL THEM PEOPLE, I DON'T NEED

 NO EXCUSE FOR BEING WHAT I AM

 DO YOU HEAR ME, THEM?

 ALL THEM ROCK 'N' ROLL WRITERS IS THE

 WORST KIND OF SLEEZE

 SELLING PUNK LIKE SOME NEW KIND OF

 ENGLISH DISEASE

 IS THAT THEM WAVE OF THE FUTURE

 AW, SPARE ME PLEASE

C#m B (CHORD SET 1)

OH NO YOU GOTTA GO

 WHO DO YOU WRITE FOR,I WANNA KNOW

 I BELIEVE YOU IS THE GOVERNMENT'S

WHORE

 AND KEEPING PEOPLES DUMB IS WHERE

 YOU'RE COMING FROM

(TWICE)

 FUCK ALL THEM WRITER WITH THE PEN IN

 THEIR HAND

 I WILL BE MORE SPECIFIC SO THEY MIGHT

  UNDERSTAND

 THEY CAN ALL KISS MY ASS

 BUT BECAUSE IT'S SO GRAND

 THEY BEST JUST STAY AWAY, HEY, HEY,

HEY.

(CHORD SET 1)

HEY JOE WHO DID YOU BLOW?

MOE PUSHED THE BUTTON BOY

AND YOU WENT TO THE SHOW

BETTER SUCK A LITTLE HARDER OR THE

SHEKELS WONT FLOW

AND I DON'T MEAN YOU THUMB

SO ON YOUR KNEES YOU BUM

JUST TELL YOURSELF IT'S YUM

AND SUCK IT TILL ITS NUMB

 JOURNALISM'S KINDA SCARY

 AND OF IT WE SHOULD BE WARY

 WONDER WHAT BECAME OF MARY?

  etc. . .

HI! IT'S ME. THE GIRL FROM THE BUS

REMEMBER THE LAST TOUR, WELL

INFORMATION IS NOT KNOWLEDGE

WISDOM IS NOT TRUTH

TRUTH IS NOT BEAUTY

BEAUTY IS NOT LOVE

LOVE IS NOT MUSIC

MUSIC IS THE BEST

WISDOM IS THE DOMAIN OF THE WIZ

WHICH IS EXTINCT

BEAUTY IS A FRENCH PHONETIC

CORRUPTION

OF A SHORT CLOTH NECK ORNAMENT

CURRENTLY IN RESURGENCE

 IF YOUR IN THE AUDIENCE AND LIKE WHAT

 WE DO

 WELL WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE

 LIKE YOU ALL TOO

 BUT AS FOR THE SUCKER WHO WILL WRITE

 THE REVIEW

  etc, etc...

IF HIS MIND IS PREHENSILE

HE'LL PUT DOWN HIS PENCIL

AND HAVE HIMSELF A SQUAT

ON THE COSMIC UTENSIL

GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT

ON THE COSMIC UTENSIL

SIT AND SPIN UNTIL YOU ROT

ON THE COMIC UTENSIL

HE REALLY NEEDS TO SQUAT

ON THE COSMIC UTENSIL

NOW THAT I GOT THAT OVER WITH

ILL JUST PLAY MY IMAGINARY GUITAR

AGAIN