Standard (EADGBE)

I'm counting back the number of the steps

 it took for me to get back on the wagon of the weekend

I'll use the oven timer to prove that I'll

 get home with my imagination

if they find the body in the basement

in the very house that she was raised in

I'm taking down the number of the times

 so when we get the sign from god I'll be the first to call them

I'm taking back the number of the beast

 cause six is not a pretty number

 eight or three are definitely better

A is for the address on the letter

to my alcoholic friends

I'm trying hard not to be ashamed

not to know the name of who is waking up beside me

or the date, the season, or the city

but at least the ceiling's very pretty

and if you are holding it against me

I'll be on my best behavior

taking shots for mother nature

 once my fist is in the cupboard

love is never falling over

Should I choose a noble occupation?

If I did I'd only show up late and

sick and they would tear at me with hatred

plus my only natural talent's wasted

on my alcoholic friends

 my alcoholic friends

 the party never ends

 my alcoholic friends