Standard (EADGBE)

 Now the lounge is full of farmers

 for the 7:30 draw

 The teammates all left before they had to buy a round

 When they pull the 50/50, and I've lost again I'll go

Maybe have one more brown one for the snowy road

 All the championship banners going yellow on the wall

 And my name when it gets closer to last call

 So Elvira brings my bottle

 Hold it up and let it bend

Figures of two rinks battling an extra end

 And i'm peeling off the label

 As they peel a corner guard

Dance down the sheet to the tune of "Hurry, Hurry Hard"

 And my popcorn squeaks with the question

 Wonders why I'm not at home

 Where you wait beside a silent telephone

 Doodle circles within circles all alone

Have to stop myself from climbing

 On the table full of empties to yell:

 "Why, why can't I draw right up to what I want to say?"

 "Why can't I ever stop where I want to stay?"

 I slide right through the day

 Always throwing hack weight

Right off, no never never ever ever

Right off, no never never ever never

Right off, no never never never ever

Right off, no never ever never ever

Now the senior bonspiel winners

 Circa 1963

 Are all staring, glaring dis-approvingly

 From their frame in that old photograph at me

 And I know you're out their waiting

 For an answer I can't give you

so tell me,

 "Why, why can't I draw right up to what I want to say?"

 "Why can't I ever stop where I want to stay?"

We roll right through our years

We rip right through our months

We slide through our days

 And always throwing hack weight

Right off, no never never ever ever

Right off, no never never ever never

Right off, no never ever never ever

Right off