Standard (EADGBE)

I worked on a garbage skowl near the neutral zone

 And Im sure you've heard what occurs when a fella is alone

I was mighty lonley there, till I met a man named Jones

 And he sold me a muff, coverd in fluff so I would,t have to spank my bone

CHORUS

Get your self a tribble, and then your good to go

 If you got enough quadrotriticale, you'll have an endless supply of ho's

 I grabbed myself some vaseline and slatherd up my pole

 But the trouble with these tribbles, there fuzzy and there cute

But I can never find the hole, there fuzzy and there cute

But I can never find the hole.

That mate there is scotty, he's our chief engineer

 And he's never had a ho, cause most don't know he's as queer as vulcan beer

 I caught him with some tribbles, I said "boy are you dumb"?

 "Hear my song your doing it wrong" he was shoving them up his bum.

CHORUS

Get your self a tribble, and then your good to go

 If you got enough quadrotriticale, you'll have an endless supply of ho's

 I grabbed myself some vaseline and slatherd up my pole

 But the trouble with these tribbles, there fuzzy and there cute

But I can never find the hole, there fuzzy and there cute

But I can never find the hole.

Klingon captain Koloth, he's mean as he is shrewd

 And on shore leave, he got us peeved because he is very rude.

 We beamed all of our tribbles to Koloth and his crew

 But from the yells we couldn't tell, who was raping who

CHORUS

Get your self a tribble, and then your good to go

 If you got enough quadrotriticale, you'll have an endless supply of ho's

 I grabbed myself some vaseline and slatherd up my pole

 But the trouble with these tribbles, there fuzzy and there cute

But I can never find the hole, there fuzzy and there cute

But I can never find the hole.

Bones says these critters are all pregnant when there born

I had just one now I have a thousand maybe more

I have so many now, I know just what to do

I think I'll start an intersteller heavy petting zoo.

I was on K7 when I saw Mr Jones

I gave him what for and said theirs more I've come to pick a bone.

That tribble that you sold me, it didn't have a hole to screw

 "You dope" he said you don't screw them you let those things screw you

CHORUS

Get your self a tribble, and then your good to go

 If you got enough quadrotriticale, you'll have a dozen of them in your hole

 I grabbed myself some vaseline and slatherd up my rump

 cause the nice thing about these tribbles, there fuzzy and there cute

And you can put them in your bum, there fuzzy and there cute

And you can put them in your bum.

I guess scotty was right after all "I told ya laddie"

So go back to your quarters and on your bunk you lay

You hope an prey that on our way we pass a bird of prey

Tribbles hate the Klongons, they realy make them go

 They get irate and they vibrate up in your hiney hole

CHORUS

Get your self a tribble, and then your good to go

 If you got enough quadrotriticale, you'll have a dozen of them in your hole

 I grabbed myself some vaseline and slatherd up my rump

 cause the nice thing about these tribbles, there fuzzy and there cute

And you can put them in your bum, there fuzzy and there cute

And you can put them in your bum.

These tribbles boldly going, into your frankin hole