Standard (EADGBE)

  (FLUTE PLAYS OVER:)

 A long, long time ago, in a land of idiot boys

 There lived the cat, a phenomenal cat

 Who loved to wallow all day

No one bothered him as he sat, content in his tree

He just lived to eat cos it kept him fat

And that's how he wanted to stay

CHORUS #1:

Though he was big and fat, all the world was good to him

 And he pointed out on the map all the places he had been

 Cowes, Sardinia, Katmandu, The Scilly Isles and Sahara, too

Fum, fum, diddle-um di

La la la la, la-la la la

La la la la, la-la la la la

La la la la-la la la

CHORUS #2:

Once when he was thin, he had flown to old Hong Kong

And had learned the secret of life, and the sea and the sky beyond

So he gave up his diet and sat in a tree

And ate himself through eternity

Fum, fum, diddle-um di

La la la la la-la la la

La la la la, la-la la la la

La la la la-la la la

Fum, fum, diddle-um di

Fum, fum, diddle-um di

CHORDS:

/: x x x 0 3 1 /: x x 3 2 3 1 /: x x 2 2 3 1

/: x 3 0 2 3 1 /: x 1 0 2 3 1

NOTE: The only difference with the previous version is the little intro.

Of course you really need a flute to make it recognizable.