Standard (EADGBE)

Long ago in days of yore

 It all began with a god named Thor

 There were Vikings and boats

 And some plans for a furniture store

 It's not a bodega, it's not a mall

 And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine

 As if there were apartments smaller than mine

 Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen

 Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men

 Everyone has a home

 But if you don't have a home you can buy one there

 So rent a car or take the bus

 Lay your cash down and put your trust

 In the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller size

Billy the bookcase says hello

 And so does a table whose name is Ingo

 And the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends call him Karl

 Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen

 Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men

 Everyone has a home

 But if you don't have a home you can buy one there

Ikea: plywood, brushed steel

Ikea: meatballs, tasty

Ikea: Allen wrenches

All of them for free

All of them for me

 I'm sorry I said Ikea sucks

 I just bought a table for 60 bucks

 And a chair and a lamp and a shelf and some candles for you

I was a doubter just like you

 ‘Till I saw the American dream come true

 In New Jersey, they got a goddamned Swedish parade

 Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen

 Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men

 Everyone has a home

 But if you don't have a home you can buy one there

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