Standard (EADGBE)

  Well while digesting Reader's Digest

  In the back of a dirty book store,

A flag decal, with gum on the back,

  Fell out on the floor.

So I picked it up and I ran outside

  And I slapped on my windowshield,

And if I could see old Betsy Ross now

  I tell her how good I feel.

  ch. Oh but your flag decal won't get you

  Into Heaven any more.

  They're already overcrowded

  From your dirty little wars.

  Now Jesus he don't like killin'

  No matter what the reason if for,

  And your flag decal won't get you

  Into Heaven any more.

(Well) I went into the bank this morning

and the teller she said to me,

"If you join our Chrismas club

we'll give you ten of those flags for free."

So I didn't mess around a bit

and I took her up on what she said.

And I stuck those stickers all over my car

And one on my wife's forehead.

(Chorus)

(Well) I got my car so stickered up

That I couldn't see.

Then I ran it right upside a curb

And then right into a tree.

By the time they called a doctor down

I was already dead.

And I'll never understand why the man

Standing at the Pearly Gates said...

Final Ch. Oh but your flag decal won't get you

Into Heaven any more.

We're already overcrowded

From your dirty little wars.

Now Jesus he don't like killin'

No matter what the reason is for,

And your flag decal won't get you

Into Heaven any more.