Standard (EADGBE)

Once I read a book

And this is what it said

If your music has a beat

Then you're gonna wind up dead

 It doesn't really matter if it's Christian or not

 If it's syncopated rhythm then your soul is gonna rot

 And this book was called ‘Ha You’re Gonna Burn

 And in the second chapter I went on to learn

Taske two houseplants

And put them to the test

 Set them both in front of speakers

 And let the music do the rest

 The first one you play Mozart

 Or something lovelqy like that

 The second one you play that Petra Or that MegaDeth.

Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is.

 So I took my two houseplants

 And I put them to the test

 Set them both in front of speakers

 To let the music do the rest

 I powered up my Pioneers

To let the music roar

 But twenty minutes later

 Someone's knocking at my door

I opened up my door

And there my neighbor stood

He said, Man I'd like to get some sleep

If you think I could

 I said, Man, can't you see here

 I've got this moral dilemma that I got to get clear

 He said, What kind of moral dilemma

 Could you have at this time of night

 That could make me so angry

 That I just want to fight

 So I pointed to the page in that open book

 That had a picture of a potted plant

 And I said, Go have a look

And he read

Take two houseplants

And put them to the test

 Set them both in front of speakers

 And let the music do the rest

 The first one you play Mozart

 Or something lovely like that

 The second one you play that Petra Or that MegaDeth.

Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is.

 First of all he said,

That's Vager that you're playing

I've never heard of Petra

And isn't megaDeth all dead

And secondly, emphatically, He asked me,

 "What's the sense of hanging out with houseplants when, hey,

 I live right across the fence

And I thought to myself

You know, that's a good point

So I took my two houseplants, and

I put them both back outside

And me and my neighbor

 Well, we went out for a drive

We talked about all the things

That really matter most

Like life and love and happiness

And then the Holy Ghost

 And now my two houseplants

 They sit out in the sun

 But as for my neighbor

 Well our friendship has become

 A meaningful relationship

 That's headed straight to heavenn

 But as for now

 We like to sit around and listen to Audio Adrenaline

 Cranked to eleven!