Standard (EADGBE)

then

 you're helpless, and hopeless

 you wanna help out the homeless

 but you've got problems

 you're selfish, and worthless

 and you have no fucking purpose

 you're a cancer-causing, cancer-having slob

whoa-oh whoa WHOOOAAAAA whoooaaaaa-ohhh-oooohhh

 there are morals that conflict with orals

 that conflict with anals that believe in angels

angels are hating on you

 if good is the absence of evil

 and evil is the absence of good

there is an axis of evil

rolling into this neighborhood

 with the sound of gunshots

bang! pow!! pswchh!!!

whoa-oh

 it was then that i found i am a vampire

 i have fangs fucking 15 inches long

 the sanguinary sweetness of stealing someone's blood

 feels so good i am compelled to sing this song

 and at night when i retire to my coffin

 to sleep for a hundred years or more

 all you people that i know will have died long ago

 and their children will have died ten years before

whoaaaaa-oh. whooaa-oh-oh-ohhh