Standard (EADGBE)

He's a serious Mister shake his hand and he'll twist your arm

With monopoly money we'll be buying the funny farm

So I'll do flips and get paid in chips from a diamond as big as the Ritz

 Then I'm calling it quits

Calling it quits

Eyes the color of candy lies to cover the handicap

Though your slippers are ruby you'll be led to the booby trap

And there's no prize just a smaller size so I'm wearing the shoe til it fits

 Then I'm calling it quits

Calling it quits

Now he's numbering himself among the masterminds

Cause he's hit upon the leverage of valentines

Lifting dialogue from Judy Collins storylines

 Where get-tough girls turn into goldmines

 But oh, those polaroid babies taking chances with rabies

Happy to tear me to bits

 Well, I'm calling it quits

Yes, I'm calling it quits 3x

Now he's numbering himself among the masterminds

Cause he's hit upon the leverage of valentines [repeat]